Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
