this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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