Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize