so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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