How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize