I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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