weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize