If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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