I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
