first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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