Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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