That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
