I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
