Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
