when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
