so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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