Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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