only if we run a train.
done.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
