I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It was confusing and full of hummus
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize