We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I FOUND THE LEGS
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