she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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