do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
