plz talk dirty to me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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