he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
