He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
