her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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