Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
