oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Randomize
