ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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