problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
