I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
