Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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