He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
