that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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