Define "chronic" masturbator.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
