After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
