I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
