ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
