The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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