I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you inspire me to be a worse person
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize