I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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