i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
