i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
