My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just google imaged poop.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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