dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
