Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
