Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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