why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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