Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
im on a boat
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