Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
