drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
