Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
