like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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