Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
