I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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