Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
