so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize