i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
