If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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